Fail to Gain;

Mess up to grow.

I posted this photograph on social media two days ago…

I never expect much from social media. I attempt to post photographs, or quotes, or poetry that simply satisfies me. If someone else relates to it, that’s an added bonus. But occasionally, I create a photograph I’m quite fond of that I’m eager to showcase. A photograph that stops me in my tracks and makes me ponder further meaning, even if for a brief amount of time.

I’ve been struggling with some health issues since November of last year and haven’t created much of anything in that time. I had three series’ planned for the winter which would typically require 3-5 sessions each. I’ve done one, just one session for one series— only a start. In the past two weeks I’ve begun to feel slightly better, enough for the desire to come back. So when the opportunity arose with weather conditions I’m fond of, I jumped at the chance to regain some control in my life and set out to create.

After I developed the film following the session and the above photograph appeared from the negative scan, I was thoroughly satisfied and very excited. A welcome feeling into my life that has been largely missing. For the first time in a while I was eager to release it into the world. As has happened prior, and I’m sure to you, the reader, the artwork we put into the world that has incredible value to ourselves tends to “fail” with others. This is not a complaint, more of an observation.

If you’re always creating for others, for the thrill of the like or comment or repost, you will not grow (as a person and artist). You will continually think of the end result over the making of. The process, journey, and even integrity can be lost. My personal favorite photographs I release almost always don’t perform as hoped. And if you’re thinking, “why do you even care?,” well, I truly don’t. But as a human, and dare I say, artist, I am wearing my heart on a sleeve and putting my thoughts into the world using imagery, so regardless of whether or not I truly care having that creation noticed and seen is always welcome. It’s even better when others relate to it. I will always create in some way, but I will not always be liked. Even painting masters of bygone eras enjoyed the attention they received from putting their work out into the world. The thrill of that existed long before social media.

The point here is that it’s ok to crave attention but also not receive it. I firmly believe that if every single thing you put out into the world as an artist of any medium is well liked, every time, you are “playing it safe.” We need to fail to gain; to mess up to grow. I will continue to showcase what I’m proud of and if it resonates with someone other than myself, even if just one person, I will consider that a win.